Thursday, 31 March 2011

Gen 3, Chapter 3 - Loss

Sometimes life works in mysterious ways. Sometimes it can be cruel.
Sometimes it rewards those who don't deserve it, and punish those who do.
And sometimes it does things you don't expect, things that come out of the blue.

Mum experienced this first-hand, and now is Grandma, because Grandpa Romeo has passed away.
We got the call early in the morning from Grandma, who was in sobs of tears. Instantly Mum broke down too, and soon we were all crying.

After a while though it began to sink in. And it didn't seem so bad when you put it into perspective. Grandpa had a long life, doing what he loved with the most he loved. And he died happily and peacefully, and that was what mattered.
Grandma still couldn't accept the fact that her lifelong love had died though, and Mum and Dad made the decision to move her into our house, so she wouldn't be alone anymore.
We quickly arranged Grandpa's funeral, full of beautiful tributes and the sound of his music (which set us all off again) but at least he was at rest now.

Meanwhile not much was going on my life. It was basically class after class, exam after exam. Fawning after someone I couldn't have, then expressing my sadness through my dance afterwards.
Life had gotten boring to put it frankly. I was stuck in a rut. I willed for something to happen, to make me feel more alive.

Then something happened a couple of months later that definately made me feel more alive, albeit in a bad way.

I was with Grandma after school one day, just sitting and watching our favourite soap Twinbrook Heights.

 However I had drifted away from the programme, as I started to think about Luke and the mess I was in.
Grandma must have noticed this sadness for she said to me,

"What's up chuck?"

I was surprised she had noticed anything because I am very good at hiding my feelings most of the time. But then again, Grandma was always so empathic.

"Nothing Grandma." I replied in a monotone voice, hoping it would mask my feelings.

"No, it isn't nothing sweetie. I can read you like a book. What's the matter, you know you can tell me."

I let out a huge sigh. What did I have to lose?
I started to explain everything, from the first moment I saw Luke to when I saw him with his girlfriend.
Everything just came flowing out like a volcano. Once I had started I found it hard to stop.

Grandma just sat there patiently and listened to every word I said, nodding at my statements at just the right times.

(That's what I love about Grandma - she will actually listen to things I say, unlike Mum who is too busy running around, phone on her ear, trying to arrange a meeting about something boring, like shares!)

Grandma then wrapped me into a hug. "Aw darling. If I've learnt something in my entire life, it would be that, although at times it may seem impossible, love ALWAYS finds a way. Sometimes you may not think it, but it WILL.
And you know what? If you really want this Luke boy, go and get him! Nothing will happen if you just sit and wait for it to. Okay?"

"But..." my voice faltered.

"You may not think you are strong enough to do this, but you are. Underneath that vulnerable exterior there is a strong girl, who can do anything she wants to if she tries hard enough."

By then she had reduced me to tears, and I just sat there in her arms. "Thank you Grandma. I love you." I whispered.

"Anytime darling. And I love you more." She whispered into my hair.

I then went off to the bathroom to tidy myself up, but when I came back I saw the worst thing. Grandma had passed away, right there.

I broke down uncontrollably, before I saw sense and called an ambulance. 

The worst moments of my entire life.

Although I hate to admit it, Grandma's death affected me much more than Grandpa's did. To have that heart to heart just before Grandma died was... bittersweet.

Her words were going to stick with me forever.

They made me realise that life was way too short to sit around waiting for something to happen. I had to make it happen.
I was going to go out and GET Luke, no matter what was standing in my way.

No joke, I was actually crying when I wrote that heart to heart between Issy and Violet.
I'm going to miss Vi so much! :'(

Saturday, 12 March 2011

Gen 3, Chapter 2 - Realisation

I went to take my seat beside Luke, butterflies going crazy in my stomach.
He turned to me as I sat down. "Hi, my name's Luke. What's yours?" He whispered, as the teacher started to talk.

You know sometimes when your mouth won't connect with your brain? You know exactly what you want to say but you just can't say it?
Yeah, that happened to me.

"Your name?" He asked again gently, after I sat there with my mouth open for a few moments.

Finally my brain jolted into action. "My name! Of course, my name. Sorry about that, sometimes my mouth doesn't work with my brain." I replied, blushing. Luckily he laughed.
"Anyway, my name is Isabella."

"Isabella. What a beautiful name."

If I was blushing before it was nothing compared to how I was blushing now. "Thank you."

So we went through the lesson and did some work, chatting along the way. Luke was ultra-nice, funny and sweet, and as the lesson went on I could feel myself coming out of my shell with him. Then sadly the bell rang and it was time for break.

I gathered my stuff and started to head towards the door with Emily.
She nudged me. "Is something going on between you and Luke? You two seemed like you were having fun."
I just giggled.
But as I got out the door something stopped me in my tracks.
Luke kissing another girl.
I don't know why I was surprised - of course HE had a girlfriend. He was Mr Popular, Mr Nice, Mr everybody-fawns-over-me.
My heart dropped.

Now this may have been a bit over-dramatic for some, but hey - I'm sensitive!
Tears started to roll down my cheeks. I started to run towards the bathroom, just so Luke wouldn't see me.
I heard the thudding of Emily's converses as she ran after me.
"I'm so stupid! How the hell could I think that anything would happen between Luke and I? He's popular, and I'm not. He's outgoing, and I'm not. That's what I hate about me - I always get my hopes up too high, too quickly, just to get them pushed down again. UGH I'm so stupid!"
Emily came up and gave me a tissue, and then started to comfort me.
"Don't put yourself down Issy. Who knows what might happen in the future?
Listen, I'm only known you for a couple of hours yet you're the most loving person I know, and the most sweet-natured too. And if Luke doesn't realise that he is an idiot. Okay?"

I thought about it then laughed.
"Why on Earth am I crying? I'm so over-emotional sometimes."
I continued laughing, which got Emily laughing and soon we were in stitches of laughter.
This is what high school is about.

Nevertheless the rest of my day went quickly, yet Luke was still on my mind like crazy. Maybe what Emily said was true, but that didn't stop me from thinking about him.
I guess it didn't help that wherever I looked I saw romance.
Like when Florence and I came home from school that day, to find Cameron kissing his girlfriend Lola on the front porch.
"Ugh. Get off the porch and get a room." Flo mumbled, a disguisted look on her face.
I couldn't help but giggle.
And then there was Mum and Dad... they were still in love as much as they were when they were younger.
And even Grandma and Grandpa were still gazing intently into each others eyes, after 50-odd years together!
But now I longed for a romance of my own, and I knew who I wanted it with...
I had fallen for him, but no-one was there to catch me.

Remember Laura, Marcus's sister and Gracie's best friend?
Of course you do ;)
Anyway she got married to her long-term boyfriend Jason, and is now expecting a baby!
(I love my new story progression mod! <3 hehe)
The baby isn't going to be related in Isabella in anyway lol, but I like to think of them as half-cousins :)

Just thought I'd let you know!

Friday, 4 March 2011

It's my birthday! :D

I know this has nothing to do with my legacy, but yes it is my birthday today! =]
I'm really excited lol, but that's to be expected ;)

Just to let you know, I apologise for the lack of updates. The past week has been one of the busiest in my entire life because of exams and other stuff, and then I have work experience for the next two weeks and my birthday is sandwiched inbetween!
I will try to get an update out here and there, but just bear with me! (I know you will though)

Steph x